First of all, I think I must apologize for my fickle-mindedness because I've tampered with my bloggy template yet again. The truth is, I was getting sick of the mug shots (of myself) which so unabashedly adorned my previous blog-header/banner and thus, before I disgust myself even further (and start to regurgitate whatever undigested dinner left in my tummy), I decided that it was most expedient to remove that aforesaid piece and replace it with something less obtrusive. After a couple of hours of fiddling with photoshop, I think I've finally produced something "creative" and inspired... *gives self a pat on back* LOL
On the personal front, I think I've been drifting in and out of limbo these past few weeks (or was it these past few months?). My appetite is temperamental; on good days, I'd feel as if I could eat a whole horse but on my "down" days, I could hardly find the strength to think about food at all. My mood swings are quite extreme too. Sometimes, I feel as if I'm walking on air and I'd be singing my heart out (pity those who are my unwilling audience for the day!) but at other times, I'd rather sulk in bed for practically the whole day, and end up feeling ashamed of my unproductive inertness. During these occasions, I'd feel as if I had a scream lodged in my throat and I just could not find the time, or place, to release it. The alarming thing is, such occasions are becoming more frequent...
Friends who have known me for some time would acknowledge that I have a way (or more of a knack) with words, and I do profess to have a fascination for everything related to the English Language eversince I started reading my first novel back during my primary school days. Words have always been a sort of anodyne for me; when I was younger, I used to calm myself by reading words randomly from the dictionary! Even 'til now, I cling to the (idealistic) belief that the pen IS mightier than the sword. I know, for instance, how the most precise words at the most opportune moment have the exacting sharpness of a rapier. However, it seems that words always fail me when I need them the most.
Some people say that life is a road, but I feel that life is more like a labyrinth; and I'm as lost as lamb that feels as if he's being led to the slaughter. Honestly, I dont think that THAT is the most apt description for what I'm feeling right now... yet it would have to suffice. But then again, if life's a labyrinth that presents a perpetual plethora of choices and possibilities, why am I becoming more and more convinced that my path is turning out to be a pointless cul-de-sac??
