Oftentimes, I deceive myself into thinking that I'm in complete control of my feelings. In actuality, I am not.
I'm just a victim of self-suffocation. It's like I know how to swim but I'd rather let myself drown. Perhaps I have this morbid fascination of seeing myself suffer.
Or perhaps, I'm just afraid... of what Fate has in store for me. Can those dearest to me see the anguish in my eyes? Behind my laughter and my flippant words, can anyone detect the desperate plea for salvation?
There is a looming future ahead of me. It's an endless void of emptiness. And I'm afraid...
