How do you measure the worth of a person? Is it by how much he (the pronoun "he", in this particular entry, is used to address both sexes of the human species) earns at work? Or by how intelligent he is -- his level of education? Is it by the number of good deeds he has done for those around him? Or what he has contributed to his community or society in general?
Do you evaluate someone by his trustworthiness? Or the way he adheres to his ideals and moral values? Do you measure him up against the wealth of his life experience? Or his upbringing and family background? Do you consider his race, his faith, his interests, or even his sexual preference, before you measure his worth? Do you judge him by his ability to procreate, to support his family (physically and emotionally) or simply by his capability to provide unconditional love to those dearest to him?
Where does it all end, the measure of man?
And when I look at myself in the mirror, I am so different, from that person whom I wanted to be... that IDEAL whom I measure myself against. I am not at the cross-roads of my life, but rather, I am in the darkest of alleys, in the most deepest depths of limbo and I know somewhere, there is a way out for me, that yellow-brick road of surety leading toward self-realization of one's worth in this world.
Everyday -- the pungent tang of carbon monoxide from the endless stream of vehicles that choke the streets, the dull ache in my temples when I awake from yet another restless sleep, the uneven palpitations of my heart when I've had too much caffeine in the evenings -- serves to remind me of my mortality, my ephemeral lifespan in God's land... and I know I have so much to live for, so much to look forward to. But I feel like I'm just staring blankly at the sky all the time, as if waiting for something...
Waiting... For the day when I step out of this cul de sac.
