Blogging-wise, I haven't been very productive of late. A couple of entries per week were all I could muster and honestly speaking, it wasn't due to time constraints. Rather, I've been feeling like a reluctant lover; on the one-hand, I DO feel the compulsion to blog about whatever is on my mind and to give free rein to this aching need to just let my fingers type as fast as my brain could think. On the other, there is an overwhelming inertia that stoppers my human impulsiveness -- that cautions me against meaningless flights of fancy and irrepressible spasms of rhetoric.
It is this tug-of-war between two conflicting emotions that sometimes pushes me into a state of numbing nothingness -- a silent neutrality in which I feel that if there is nothing sensible to be said, then it is not worth saying at all.
But that sort of thinking defeats the whole essence of blog, doesn't it? Or at least what I believe a blog should be -- the place where the person is stripped of his face (physical appearance) and identity, revealing only the two most vital organs; his heart (where the emotions reside) and his brain (where ideas and ideals germinate and grow). The blog as a record of personal revelations is indeed a romantic notion but how many bloggers are actually a hundred percent forthright and guileless when they write? And therein lies the value of reading between the lines -- uncovering subtle truths and inferences in sentences, stumbling across hidden or overt implications amidst passages.
Shades of meaning and gradations of emotion are conveyed in a mind-boggling plethora of words. In place of body language, it is the prudent selection of the right word, or combination of words, which plays an important part of blog-communication. Yet even when the utmost care (don't forget to run that spellcheck!) is observed during blogging, sometimes bloggers are still misinterpreted or misunderstood by their readers. Or perhaps, some of them are barely comprehensible to begin with -- their writings are mired in unnecessary prose and awkward metaphors.
I've even seen occasions where long-windedness and incoherent ramblings are mistaken to be a sign of great intellect. And just because a person is able to insert such words like "sagacity", "profound", or "deterioration" into every other sentence does not mean, by default, that he is well-read and a bona fide genius.
After all I've said thus far, one would expect me to be the exemplary blogger... or at least working toward such a status. However, I would be the first to confess that I am still very far from achieving my ideal. For instance, I would love to say that every aspect of my life and personality that I transcribe into words here in my blog, is honest-to-goodness, an untampered account. But it isn't. In my writings (and as in life too), sometimes, there is no black and white -- Just varying shades of grayness which are the result of the mad intermingling of ethics of faith, moralistic ideals and fallible human judgments. As incredible as it may seem, there are even times when I feel as if I could choke on the vomit induced by my own pretensions.
And, YES -- I am a raving lunatic.
