jukebox playing: Jinbara - Kasihnya Laila
It used to be that I believed in the cathartic powers of writing and the therapeutic effect it had upon me especially after a sucky day in the real world has frayed my nerves beyond salvation...
Then recently, something sort of snapped. Or maybe, the very threads of sanity that kept my thoughts together just seemed to get entangled into a knotty mess; I forgot what blogging meant. I must admit, there were times when I gravely considered deleting my blogger account and quitting altogether. What is blog -- I reasoned -- other than an easy escape into another dimension where the asperities of life can not touch me and my fragile dreams and ideals may be expressed freely and uncontaminated by humanity's manifold complexities and contradictions?? Was blogging merely an avenue where I could justify my convictions and... my existence?
There came a low-point in my life, when the very idea of blogging again was absolutely pointless. Redundant. Obsolete. Even repugnant...
Nevertheless, a couple of days ago,I decided that a change was in order; No point wallowing in misery and revelling in pessimism (for too long!). I was trying to convince myself that what mattered to me didn't matter anymore but later on did I realise that it does matter still! So what if I'm living a deluded life, always trying to come across as someone I'm not (i.e intelligent, witty, moralistic, blah blah blah~)??
I need this. I have to write or I'll go crazy!!!
